I Don’t Know What To Do

My mother tried to kill herself yesterday evening.  I had her committed to mental health.  Her bipolar medication was messed up and things are seriously bad.  She has already called me yelling this morning.  I don’t know what to do.  She doesn’t want her pets at my house, she told me to have them euthanized.  I’m not going to do that, but I don’t know what to do with them now.  She doesn’t want to see anyone.  She said they had her strapped down most of the night and that she broke the restraints once.

I feel so lost and alone.  My husband doesn’t care for my mother because of all she has put me through, but she’s my mother.  He says she wouldn’t actually kill herself, but I know this time he’s wrong.  She had a box cutter to her throat and only missed her jugular by half an inch.  My grandmother isn’t well, and this is so hard on her heart I’m afraid she is going to end up in the hospital.

I don’t know what to do.  I’m already late for work, but I called in and I can go in this afternoon.  I’m also on call all this weekend.  But I just don’t know what to do.


Just Have A Few Minutes….

I had a few minutes and wanted to write to let everyone knowing that I’m still surviving. Training for the new job has kept me busy, plus having the kids out of school for the summer has taken up the rest of my time. We’ve stayed very busy swimming and camping. I am finding the more I keep moving, the better I feel. Night is the hardest, when everything is done for the day and the stress catches up with me. I’ve been watching the old X-Men cartoons on Netflix every night to keep my mind occupied until I pass out.
I hope everyone is hanging in there. I’ve been thinking about you all.