First I want to say thanks to everyone who has been concerned about my absence and apologize for not responding quicker. My life has been jumbled and the meds work about 3/4 of the time. My sleep has been better. I’m getting a solid 7 to 8 hours every night (except Saturday night when insomnia took over).
The uncle I talked about in earlier posts, he told my mother I stole her coins and sold them, was in the hospital. He has lupus and a multitude of other complications. They found out several weeks ago that he was diabetic and his doctor prescribed him medication for it. We’re not sure yet if she wrote the prescription wrong or if the nurse who filled it got it wrong, but he was overdosed. They gave him twice the amount he should have had. It basically poisoned him. It nearly killed him. It took almost a week, but it got to the point where an ambulance had to take him to the ER. It took three days before he could sit up and eat any food. At the hospital they began injecting him with insulin instead of the pills and they gave him the correct amount. He’s home now.
After losing my friend just a few weeks ago when we had just began talking again after two years, when I heard he was in the hospital it scared me. I had to put things into perspective and decide if it was important that he lied to my mother about me or if it was more important that my uncle know that I love him regardless of his stupidity. I decided it was more important that he know I love him.
I spent several hours each day with him at the hospital. And I think this really scared him as well. He’s so tired of the pain and uselessness he feels that he would rather die than go through it anymore, but at the same time he’s got a fighting spirit and at 42 he doesn’t want his life to be over. Either way, every day when I went he told me he loved me and reached for me for a hug. Prior to this, my uncle has said he loved me exactly twice.
But all of this added to the chaos that is my life. And now that this situation seems to have settled down somewhat I feel wiped out and drained. I have no motivation to get up and do anything. I have been going through the motions, doing what I have to, but Id rather just lay here and stare off into space. I’m just so tired, not sleepy but tired.